


gonna take me higher

by Lise



Series: Where the Devil Don't Go [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Dark, Extremely Dubious Consent, Forced Prostitution, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Slavery, Things are bad, angst no comfort, honestly I feel like the Grandmaster deserves his own content warning, tfw you have a little bit of hope and then you don't anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-06
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:20:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23033107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lise/pseuds/Lise
Summary: Loki tries to escape the Grandmaster before he loses his mind. It doesn't work out as well as he hoped.
Relationships: En Dwi Gast | Grandmaster/Loki, Loki (Marvel)/Original Male Character(s)
Series: Where the Devil Don't Go [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1202188
Comments: 21
Kudos: 246





	gonna take me higher

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [gonna take me higher | вознесёшь меня выше](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24961549) by [Summer__child](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Summer__child/pseuds/Summer__child)



> Continuing my (yearly? roughly?) tradition of posting fic on my birthday! It's a very hobbit move of me.
> 
> I think someone prompted me for this but I'm not sure who (90% chance it was either [Echo](http://loxxxlay.tumblr.com) or [Lauren](http://led-lite.tumblr.com)) - anyway, took me way too long to actually _write_ the damn thing but you know what, I did it, so there. I'm still in this verse, apparently! Whoops. Best laid plans, etc. etc. 
> 
> All the usual content warnings apply; the best I can say for this one is that the sex is relatively brief in terms of fic space. Mostly this is about the ~psychological torment~! But then, isn't everything. 
> 
> Thanks everyone for reading along. You're the best.

Loki’s sanity was beginning to slip.

He could feel it happening. Like walking on a sheet of ice as it began to crack underneath his feet, but he was too far out from shore to go back and there was no other side visible. 

There was no other side, period. It wasn’t going to _stop,_ it wasn’t going to _get better,_ the Grandmaster would use him until Loki died or he got bored, whichever came first. And until then he would be the Grandmaster’s collateral, or his fucktoy, or his fundraising tactic. 

He’d been a prince. He’d been a _king._ And now-

And now. 

Once or twice, in the first month, he wondered what had happened to Thor. Once, after a particularly brutal evening where the Grandmaster gambled him to a pack of smugglers, then came back and fucked Loki himself in celebration of his eventual victory, he imagined Thor finding him, rescuing him.

It was foolish, and childish, and he only indulged it the once.

Thus far, he’d held it together, more or less. Learned to separate his mind from his body when he needed to, learned the cues of the Grandmaster’s moods and how to stay on the right side of his temper as much as possible. He still made mistakes - the Grandmaster was fickle as the wind, and what was acceptable or even wanted one day might warrant punishment the next - but he was learning. 

( _Learning how to be a better slave,_ murmured a voice that Loki quashed. It was just about survival. That was all.)

But now something was fracturing within him. Loki wasn’t entirely certain what would happen when it broke, and he didn’t want to learn. 

He needed to find a way out.

And for that, he was going to need a plan. And some money.

It was an open question which was going to be harder to come by. 

* * *

The money, it turned out, was not all that difficult. It wasn’t too much of a challenge to skim a small quantity of credits from the account of every _client_ the Grandmaster sold him to - the lightest touch of magic could do it, and most of them weren’t paying much attention to their wallets at the time. It was a risk, but there was no trail to lead to him, and plenty of other suspects on the planets they visited. 

The plan was a bit harder to assemble. When he was trying to keep the pieces of his mind together, attempting to organize anything more substantial was...difficult. 

In the end, what came together was mostly through happenstance and luck. 

They were on another station - Loki couldn’t remember the name. They all blurred together after a while. Another gambling hall, and the Grandmaster dragged him in, put a drink in his hand, and Loki braced himself for the delightful experience of being offered to whomever struck the Grandmaster’s fancy. 

But instead he glanced at Loki and then smiled. “You know - you know what? I think you deserve a bit of a night off, sweetheart,” he said. 

Loki blinked at him, certain he’d misheard. “Pardon?” 

“I said - goodness, Lo, is your hearing going already? I’m giving you a night off. I mean - don’t go far, I’ll want you later - oh, boy, will I - but...the floor’s yours!” He gestured expansively around them with a broad smile. “Take it easy. Just...relax. I know you’re not very good at that, but, ah, that should help.” He indicated the drink he’d purchased for Loki.

“I…” Loki shook himself. “Thank you, Grandmaster. That’s very - generous.”

“I’m a generous sort of guy, aren’t I,” the Grandmaster said, and smacked Loki’s ass. “Go on, then! Daddy’s got some games to win.”

Loki was quite sure the spasm of his face was obvious, but he just hoped the Grandmaster hadn’t noticed. At least he didn’t comment, just wafted off, and Loki watched him go. Expecting him to turn around and say _actually, I”ve changed my mind._ But he was gone into the crowd, and Loki was on his own.

His heart started pattering in his chest. 

_Now’s your opening._

It occurred to him that this might well be a test. Seeing what he’d _do_ when - turned loose. Seeing if he was _loyal._

_So what,_ Loki thought recklessly. _If you play your cards right, and quickly - it might not matter. This is the only chance you’re going to have. So take it. Take it, and run, and don’t look back._

He took a deep breath in, held it in his lungs for a moment, and swallowed the rest of the drink he was holding. 

Now he just needed to find a captain who could be bribed, and in Loki’s experience there were very few people who couldn’t be bribed. 

He caught his fingers circling the obedience disc and pulled them down. Maybe once he was away he would be able to find someone to get the thing off. Throw it into space and vanish into the vast, wide, universe. Where? Didn’t matter. He could figure that out later. 

Anywhere would be better than this.

Glancing surreptitiously over his shoulder and around the room once more, Loki headed for one of the exits. He didn’t know how long he had, and wanted to make sure he was off this station before the Grandmaster noticed he was gone.

* * *

Loki headed directly for the docks. 

A passenger ship where he could blend in with others would be ideal, but also harder to bribe his way onto. His best bet was something smaller, with a captain whose trade was already semi-legal, and who wouldn’t demand too much money. He wanted to try to conserve some of what he had for when he hit ground on the other side. 

( _Of course, you always have an easy way to make more._ )

Loki shunted that whisper aside. His guts were in knots but he kept his stride even and purposeful. Not a man fleeing pursuit, just one with somewhere to go. He kept himself carefully from glancing back. 

The docks were crowded and busy, which suited Loki fine. He slowed, wishing he could track down the full records of the ships that were here, but there wasn’t time. He was just going to have to work with what he could see in the next few minutes. 

He glanced over a cargo ship and what looked suspiciously like a repainted Kree military fighter. The next looked likely, but there was no sign of its owner. The next port was empty, and the one after that he paused, but the three Achernonians loading it turned to look at him and he noticed a Ravager insignia on their coats. He moved on quickly.

_You’re running out of time,_ his thoughts panted. _Beggers can’t be choosers, and that’s what you are, or worse._

Loki stopped a few ports further down past the Ravagers. Small, lightweight, unarmored - not meant for long journeys or battle, which was good. No identifiable markings that designated it as belonging to one organization or another. The hatch was open, the ramp down, and he could see a light on inside. 

He paused again, wavering, and as he did so the pilot emerged, stretching his arms as he walked down to the deck. He was middling height, with long sandy hair pulled back in a braid, his features relatively unremarkable. The sort of man who was hard to describe, which was, odds were, to his benefit. 

Loki’s eyes fell on the name of the ship itself painted on the side, and tensed as he recognized the script. Close to his native tongue, but not quite: Vanir.

The man stopped and narrowed his eyes, scrutinizing him, but it was too late for Loki to leave without drawing more attention. And this was his best option so far. “Do I know you?” 

Loki considered, just for a moment, leaning on his name. It was strange to find one of the Vanir here, so far away; there were only a few reasons he could think of, none of them particularly good. But he might still know the name of a prince of Asgard, and that might give him some leverage. On the other hand, he might also know the name of a _disgraced_ prince of Asgard, or might think it worth holding him hostage in hopes of extorting a reward.

“I doubt it,” he said. “I can’t think why you would. You might, however, if you were interested in doing business.” 

The man studied him a moment longer. Loki’s heart pounded and his fingers twitched at his side, though he kept his posture and face carefully calm. “What sort of business,” he said at length.

“I need a ship,” Loki said. “More precisely, I need transport away from this place. The captain who brought me here appears to have been...indefinitely detained, so I am in need of a new one.”

“Detained?”

Loki huffed. “Apparently he was smuggling contraband and got himself caught.”

“So you want to hire me,” the man said. “To go...where?” 

_Anywhere._ “Naro-Atzia,” he said, choosing a name at random. “And I would need you to depart imminently. I have an appointment to keep.”

“That’s a bit out of my way. And I’d be losing other opportunities, leaving here now.”

“I would make it worth your while.” 

A slightly greedy gleam slid into his eyes. “Is that so?”

Loki kept his voice steady. “My money is good. And I will pay half up front.” 

“How much?”

“Six hundred credits,” Loki said. The man laughed.

“That’s the half, right?” 

Loki hesitated. Twelve hundred would wipe out almost everything he’d managed to gather. If he dared use his magic then he could simply spell the man into agreeing to take him. Or he could try to bargain; he’d been good at that, once. But bargaining took time, and time was something he didn’t have. He could almost hear the sand of his temporary freedom running out. 

“Fine,” he said. “Six hundred up front. Another six hundred on arrival. Is that acceptable?” 

“That’s acceptable,” he said. “What’s your name, then? Since we’re going to be traveling together.” 

Loki wondered if he could kill this man and take over his vessel once they were away from the station, or if that would be a bad idea. “Cedwyn,” he said. “And yours?” 

“Vesk,” he said. “Pleasure doing business. Let’s start with the transfer.”

He probably shouldn’t. It might be difficult to try to figure out how to fly an unfamiliar ship in the middle of space. Loki paid, his heart still racing, forcing himself to act calm, not to rush, not to look over his shoulder, not to wonder if the Grandmaster had noticed his absence yet. Surely not, or he would have used the disc. 

Loki took a slow, deep breath. “Are you ready to depart, then?”

Vesk rubbed his jaw. “You didn’t say _now._ ”

“I did say ‘imminently,’” Loki said, focusing on keeping his voice steady and even. “I thought that was clear enough.” 

“What’s the rush?”

“As I said,” Loki repeated, calmly, _calmly._ “I have an appointment.” 

Vesk frowned, then shook his head. “You’re the one paying,” he said. “Give me ten minutes to get some fresh food and fuel, unless you want to be starving and stuck in open space. Can you manage that, your highness?” 

Loki almost flinched. _No,_ he wanted to scream. _I can’t manage it, ten minutes is an eternity, I might not have two._ “Five,” he said, infusing his voice with irritation rather than panic. 

Vesk held up his hands. “Sure,” he said. “All right. Five. You can wait on the ship, if you want.” 

“Thank you,” Loki said. Five minutes would be fine. It wasn’t so long. He could wait.

He wanted to crawl out of his skin. 

It seemed a great achievement that he kept his stride steady as he boarded the ship. He glanced back just once and saw Vesk looking at him again. His shoulders locked, but Vesk just gave him an ironic bow and moved off. Loki retreated into a corner of the ship, sat down with his back to the wall, pressed his head to his knees, and focused on breathing. 

_It’s fine. It’ll be fine. Soon you’ll be away from here, away from him, and you’ll be free, you’ll be safe._

His heart didn’t care what he tried to tell it, and wouldn’t stop racing like a rabbit’s. A rabbit crouching flat to the ground while the shadow of a hawk circled overhead.

_You can do this. You can do this._

* * *

He stayed there for what felt like forever, his heart leaping into his throat at every sound. When he finally heard the hatch open he scrambled to his feet and pulled himself together, smoothing his clothes, inhaling through his nose and letting it out slowly so that by the time Vesk was visible he was fairly certain he looked a reasonable approximation of calm.

“Are you done?” Loki said. Vesk approached him slowly. 

“Just about,” he said. “I forgot to ask. Do you have any luggage?” 

“No,” Loki said. “I haven’t.”

“Seems strange.”

Loki pressed his lips together. The back of his neck was prickling. He kept himself from taking a step back as Vesk moved into his space, standing altogether too close. “I travel lightly. If you wouldn’t mind…?”

There was a look on Vesk’s face that Loki didn’t like. “Are you sure I don’t know you? You look _so_ familiar.”

Loki glanced toward the hatch, still open, breathing deliberately evenly. “Quite sure,” he said. 

“That’s too bad,” Vesk said. The gleam in his eyes was still greed, just of a different kind. “But I guess we’ll have plenty of time on the way to get to know each other, right?” 

Loki swallowed hard, anger flaring up along with the fear and the mounting dread. Every instinct he had was shrilling at him but he needed this, needed this to _work._ “I’m not interested,” he said flatly. “This is a business relationship only-”

“Are you sure? I think we could have fun together.” Vesk sidled closer, hand brushing his arm.

A knife appeared in Loki’s hand and he brought it up to Vesk’s neck, the edge resting against his throat just under his jaw. “No,” he said, and hated how his voice shook. “Back away. And we are leaving. Now.”

Vesk held up both hands and took one step back, then another, but he was smiling. “Right,” he said. “Right, okay. I’m just going to check the engine.”

_Get out. Get out now, he’s stalling, he’s been stalling-_

He bolted for the hatch, but it was already too late. 

Two hands caught his shoulders, and he was staring at the Grandmaster, who did not look pleased. 

“Well,” he said. “Well. _Lo_ ki. Please...please tell me this isn’t what it looks like.” 

It wasn’t even a scream, in his head. Was more like a whimper, quickly cut off. “Grandmaster,” he said faintly. “I. Ah. I…”

The Grandmaster heaved a sigh of utter disappointment. “Oh, dear,” he said. “Oh, dear, dear, dear. I can’t _believe -_ you know, I thought, I thought this, ah, whatever his name is, must be mistaken. Not my _Lo,_ I said. He wouldn’t try to run _out_ on me. Why-oh-why would he do that?” 

“Grandmaster,” Loki tried again. “If I can explain-” He had no idea what he would say. What explanation he could give. But his tongue fell still without even trying when the Grandmaster frowned at him.

“Lo. I don’t - I don’t want to _hear_ it right now. Understand me? I’m, I’m just so upset. With you. I don’t _like_ being upset. It’s such a _drag._ ”

Loki’s stomach had sunk somewhere to the region of his ankles. He swallowed, hard.

“And whatever - whatever ex _cu_ ses you’re going to give me are just going to make me _more_ upset, so…” His hands on Loki’s shoulders pressed down, fingers digging in, and he walked Loki slowly backwards. “Let’s just keep quiet, hmm? While we, ah, sort this out.”

He opened his mouth to answer, closed it, and made himself nod. The walls seemed to close in. The Grandmaster hadn’t used the obedience disc yet, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t. He felt dizzy, and sick, like he might vomit on his own feet, or faint. He wished for the latter; for the mercy of unconsciousness. 

Of course, it didn’t come.

The Grandmaster sighed, released Loki’s shoulders, and turned toward Vesk. “I suppose - I suppose I should offer you some sort of reward, shouldn’t I? For, mm, returning him to me safely. Who _knows_ what could’ve happened if it hadn’t been you who found him, hm?”

Vesk spread his hands. “That’d be reasonable.” 

“And I’m a reasonable kind of guy. How about, mmm...ten thousand? How does that sound, honeybunch?” Loki flinched and closed his eyes, and the Grandmaster gave him a little jostle. “Hey, I’m asking for your input here.”

“You’d know better than me,” Loki croaked.

“ _Now_ he says it,” the Grandmaster said. “Of course I do. So - what d’you say?”

“I’ll take eight,” Vesk said, “and him.”

Loki sucked in a breath. “No,” he said, without meaning to.

“Oh, you _know_ how I feel about that word,” the Grandmaster said. The disc triggered and Loki’s knees buckled with a cry, though it only lasted a moment. He stayed on his knees, though. There didn’t seem any point in getting up. “Though - though I do have to agree, that’s - two thousand credits is _way_ below market value.”

Loki’s head spun. As the initial hysteria died down, a sense of unreality descended over him, like a film between him and what he was witnessing. _This isn’t real,_ it told him. _This isn’t happening._

“Think about all the future revenue you’d have lost if I hadn’t turned him over.”

_None of this is real. This is a dream._

Stupid, to trust anyone. So unbelievably, painfully, stupid.

They were haggling over his price over his head. Loki shut it out, because the numbers didn’t matter. However much his head was worth, his body was worth, that was what he was now. Everything that he heard seemed very far away, and he could almost convince himself that it was happening to someone else. That he wasn’t here, was - somewhere, somewhere safe. ( _And where is that,_ jeered a voice, even in the safety of his head. _Where is there, in the wide universe, that is safe?_ )

The Grandmaster wound his fingers into Loki’s hair and pulled his head back. For once, he didn’t look amused. “Well, Lo? Does that seem fair?”

Loki licked his lips. “I’m...my apologies. I wasn’t-” 

“Paying attention? My _stars,_ sweetheart. I thought - I _really_ thought you were better than this.” Loki flinched and dropped his eyes. Or tried - the Grandmaster’s fingers tightened in his hair and pulled harder. “Hey. _Hey_ now. Look at me when I’m talking to you.”

Loki quickly raised his eyes to the Grandmaster’s face again. “That’s more like it,” he said. “We’re going to - mm, going to have to work on your _listening_ skills, clearly. But for now...I was just telling you that we’ve agreed that you’re, mm, going to _compensate_ Mr...whatever your name is, for his time. Along with a _modest_ sum for a finder’s fee. What do you think? Good deal, right?”

_Do I have a choice,_ Loki thought dazedly, but he didn’t say it. He already had enough to pay for. He didn’t particularly want to make it worse. “Yes,” he made himself say. “Of course.”

The Grandmaster let go of Loki’s hair and put his hand on the back of his neck instead, squeezing. “ _There_ we go,” he said. “See, I _know_ you can be - well-behaved. I bet we can get this whole thing sorted out, can’t we? But let’s, um - table that conversation for later. We don’t want to keep this nice man waiting, do we?”

* * *

The Grandmaster stayed. Of course he did. That had probably been part of the deal. _You can fuck him for half price but I get to watch._

There was a room, at least, that wasn’t just the dirty cockpit of a ship. It was dingy and filthy and under other circumstances Loki might have laughed at the Grandmaster’s faint noise of disgust, but it was a room, and a bed, as though that made anything better. 

He took Loki from behind. His face was pressed into sheets that smelled faintly of sour milk, and he wished he’d had that drink the Grandmaster had given him. Closing his eyes, Loki emptied out his thoughts and tried to will himself away. At least Vesk didn’t seem to expect much of him other than the use of his body. That was some kind of relief.

Loki’s eyes drifted open as Vesk’s hips stuttered and inside him with a groan, and he focused on the Grandmaster, who was watching him with a casual sort of interest. He didn’t even look aroused.

That just made everything worse. 

When it was over he cleaned himself up in the cramped washroom, straightened his clothes, and left. “Thanks again!” the Grandmaster trilled over his shoulder, and Loki just kept his eyes fixed forward. He still felt...dislocated. Out of joint.

“Well!” the Grandmaster said. “Have to say that was a, ah...subpar performance. Not your fault,” he added, “just...not very inspired, was he? And the ambience. Ugh.” 

Loki wasn’t sure if he was supposed to agree or not. He stayed quiet. 

“Well. That’s what you get, I suppose,” the Grandmaster sighed. “Can’t all be winners. Am I right?” 

“Yes,” Loki said automatically, because that was the right answer. The Grandmaster had started walking, and Loki followed him. 

“We-ell. This has all been...very exciting. Completely unexpected, I have to say. Did _not_ see - did not see the evening going like this!” 

Loki swallowed hard. “Grandmaster,” he said faintly. “I’m - I’m sorry.”

“I’m sure you are! I’m glad you, ah, understand how serious this is.” The Grandmaster slid an arm around Loki’s waist and drew him close. “That was - that was _very_ disappointing of you, Lo. Trying to _leave_ me? As though I haven’t - as though I haven’t been _so_ good to you. What were you thinking?” 

He was numb. _I was thinking that I needed to get away before you ground me down to nothing._ He should have known better. There was no _getting away._ All there was was the Grandmaster, and the Grandmaster’s wishes. 

Something small but vital crumpled in Loki’s chest.

“I wasn’t,” he said dully. “I wasn’t thinking. It was...ungrateful of me.” 

“You bet it was,” the Grandmaster said sternly. “ _Honestly,_ sweetheart, if I didn’t like you so much...but I’m willing to let it go. I can let it go, I’m nice like that. Though you might have to, ah, _convince_ me that you’re going to behave going forward. Hmm?”

Loki’s stomach twisted. “Of course,” he said. “I understand.” 

“Do you?” the Grandmaster’s fingers pressed into his waist. “I’m just asking because I - I thought we understood each other already, and here it turns out...stars, Loki, if you’re so, ah, _distressed_ you should just _say_ so!” 

_I should, should I,_ Loki thought. _I’m sure that would go over very well._ “I will remember that.” 

“I hope you do,” the Grandmaster said, hand squeezing before it relaxed. “I just don’t want any misunderstandings. You know? And I believe - I’m sure you don’t want any either, right?” 

“Yes,” Loki said mechanically. He was an automaton, mouthing the right words at the right time. No will of his own. 

“ _Ex_ cellent,” the Grandmaster said. “Now, let’s...let’s get back to our suite, hm, and you can, ah...we can see about moving past this whole little hiccup, what do you think?”

Loki was quite sure he knew what _moving past this hiccup_ would look like, and what it would involve from him. “At your will, Grandmaster,” he said. 

“Oh, none of _that,_ ” the Grandmaster said. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, the, ah, that can be _nice_ sometimes, but I don’t want you to feel like you don’t get _any_ input. I like...I like feedback, Lo, I do. So...so why don’t you tell _me_ what you want to do right now?”

_I want to put a knife through your throat until it hits your spine. To start. I want to run far, far away from here. I want to lie down on this floor and scream until my voice gives out._

_I want to go home._

That wasn’t the question, though. The question was _what do I want you to want to do,_ and Loki just had to give the right answer. He found the brief, fledgling hope he’d been holding close to his chest, cradled it like a moth-

-and crushed it. 

“I want you to know how...how grateful I am. For everything you’ve done for me. And for being willing to - overlook my indiscretion.” 

It was so easy, Loki thought dully. So easy to shape the words and speak them like he meant them. Maybe he did mean them. This was his life now; if he was going to survive, then he needed to find a way to acclimate to that. Maybe this was what acclimating meant. 

“I like the sound of that,” the Grandmaster said, turning his dazzling smile on Loki. “But how about some _specifics,_ honey? What are you _offering?_ ”

Loki took a shallow breath. “Everything,” he said. “Everything I am is - yours.”

The Grandmaster paused and released Loki’s waist, taking his chin in hand instead and turning him to face him. “Of _course_ it is,” the Grandmaster said, bizarrely fond. “I know that. You know that. Though it is - mm, it is _hot_ hearing you say it, so I don’t mind. But...Loki, you know, for such a _clever_ boy sometimes you’re very, ah, slow on the uptake. If you want something you have to _ask_ for it.” His eyes gleamed. 

Loki didn’t know why he’d tried to avoid it at all. Didn’t know why it should be worse. At least this way he had, nominally, an _option._

“Bend me over,” Loki said, the words slipping with a kind of terrible ease off his tongue, “and fuck the defiance out of me.”

“Ooh,” the Grandmaster said. “Sexy. Though - not a request, exactly. Let me hear you say _please._ ”

Loki swallowed hard past the swelling lump in his throat, his stomach twisting. “Please,” he said.

“ _There_ we go.” The Grandmaster beamed at him and leaned in to plant a kiss on his lips that quickly deepened into something demanding, almost bruising. His hand slid to the back of Loki’s neck and squeezed before he pulled away. “Sure, hon. That - that, I can _de-fin-ite-ly_ do.”

_I am lost,_ Loki thought. _I am gone. There is never going to be any way out._

_This is my life now._

A fissure opened in the ice under his feet and sent him plunging into black, cold, water, and there was no surface to be seen.

* * *

Folded in half over the sumptuous bed, teeth sunk into his arm so he didn’t make a sound, the Grandmaster pounding away behind him, Loki gave up on trying to find it.


End file.
